Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Old dating practice misunderstood

It was not night hunting, but night dating. Non-bhutanese teachers who came to Bhutan at the start of modern development programmes termed it 'night hunting' without understanding the practice well. The practice served as dating between prospective future partners for rural people who were too busy during the day time. With modernity came a different class of people to the villages - businessmen, teachers, civil servants and dashos. When this new class began to abuse this rural system, it began to look like a bad practice.
In rural Bhutan of the past when there were no roads and electricity, and people had to walk for days to buy a bag of salt, young people did not have the luxury of passing their time dating each other during the day like the young people of today. They had to fetch firewood and water and tend to the farm, the cows, the pigs and the cocks and hens. The list was endless. As necessity is the mother of all inventions, the system of dating at night was born, out of necessity.
Young men discreetly visited a girl's house at night, like Romeo at the window of Juliet's bedroom, to let her know of his feelings and his intention to marry her and have children with her. However, owing to the fact that most girls did not have separate bedrooms and that Bhutanese are generally self-conscious by nature, such visits were not as blatantly common as it is often thouht. This practice served a very useful purpose in rural Bhutan; the purpose for the young people to meet their prospective future partner, which is very important in any society.
People often think that under such practice, anybody could go and sleep with anybody he liked. It is a mistake. The visit was often pre-planned with subtle gestures between the two people involved. Quite often, the visits offered a chance to talk with the girl's family too on a serious note. It was not an exploitation of the weak when it happened between the rural people, but an agreement on equal terms just like asking the apple of your eye out to a dance party these days. There were cases when unplanned visits ended in injury inflicted by the girl's father, brother or uncle.
With the passage of time, this practice has been misunderstood and grossly abused. Anyway, it is good that it is losing its popularity now. It served its purpose when it was needed. Nowadays, with roads, electricity and piped water supply at their doorsteps, most of the villagers have more time to date like the people in towns do. All things must change with time, not for the worse but for the better. And this practice is surely breathing its last now.
Today, you go to a village and try to revive this old system - you may be lucky if you return an injured man and not get your head chopped off.

1 comment:

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